


The Never Gonna Be Good Enough Club

by sg_wonderland



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-22
Updated: 2013-10-22
Packaged: 2017-12-30 05:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1014454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sg_wonderland/pseuds/sg_wonderland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The new kids contemplate the past and the future</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Never Gonna Be Good Enough Club

The Never Gonna Be Good Enough Club

 

 

That, Cameron Mitchell speculated just a bit fearfully, was a sight one did not see everyday. Dr. Carolyn Lam and Vala Mal Doran, squeezed under the one and only tree in Jackson’s backyard with, he winced visibly, two deck chairs and a bottle of wine. And from the looks of things, it wasn’t bottle number one. 

He killed his whiskey, refilled the glass and then, with a shrug, just grabbed the bottle and strolled over.

“Cameron!” Vala shouted. “Come, sit with us. You can join the club!”

He flopped down between the two of them. “And what club would that be?”

“The Never Gonna Be Good Enough Club. Right now Carolyn and I are the only members but we’ll gladly accept your application.” He blinked at the way she pronounced application. Yeah, good and drunk, the both of them.

“Never gonna be good enough? So what’s the membership requirement?”

“You just have to replace someone who’s perfect.” Vala leaned dangerously over in her chair to confide. “You’d be perfect, except you’re not, you know, perfect.” Obviously, she and Lam thought that was hilarious, because they clinked their plastic wineglasses together and toasted each other.

“Okay, you’re going to have to explain this little club to me.” And he suspected this called for yet another drink, which he generously poured himself.

“Vala and I decided that we’re doomed to fail. Because we’re up against perfection. I have to follow Dr. Fraiser, who is practically hallowed in the halls of the SGC.”

“And I’m never gonna be Sha’re.” Vala mourned with a hiccup over that last word. “And you? I mean, you’re good and all that, but face it, you’re no Jack O’Neill.’

By accord, they all turned to stare at Daniel’s back deck, at the original SG-1. Daniel was currently losing the fight over grilling duties to the visiting Jack O’Neill. Teal’c and Sam were only adding fuel to the fire by taking sides. “I mean, just look at them.” Vala pointed an accusing finger.

“Cool kids table,” Carolyn finally spoke into the long silence. “And they didn’t even ask us to sit with them.”

Vala didn’t understand but she nodded emphatically. “And just look at your father.”

Carolyn glared at Landry, who was advising the victorious O’Neill on his grilling technique. “Traitor,” she pronounced crossly. “We’re even thinking about getting some little patches made for our uniforms. You know, with a skull and crossbones or something equally grim.”

Cameron snickered. “Do you two hear yourselves? Sound like a couple of high school girls.”

“Oh, yeah, and I suppose it doesn’t bother you every time Daniel says ‘well, Jack did this’ or Sam says ‘General O’Neill would never do that.’?”

“Not in the least,” he took a good long drink.

“You’re a liar, Cameron Mitchell, and not even a good one,” Vala sneered. “We’re beat before we even start. Sha’re died saving Daniel. No matter how many shots I take from the Ori, I’m never gonna equal that.”

“And Dr. Fraiser died in the field. I’ve only been through the gate one time. And I was absolutely no good to anyone.” The two women looked at each other balefully then refilled their glasses. “And do you know how many times Jack O’Neill got hurt or killed defending his team?” Carolyn snorted loudly. “You’re even more screwed than we are.”

Cameron looked into his empty glass. “Well, hell, when you put it that way.” He abandoned his glass and took the next drink out of the bottle. “I’ve been a good leader of SG-1.” Even to his ears, it sounded weak and whiny.

“Keep telling yourself that, darling.” Vala petted his arm. “And I don’t see Teal’c giving any of us a cute little nickname like he did for Daniel.”

“Face it, SG-1 is an exclusive club to which we’re never going to get invited.”

“Hey,” Cameron was grasping at straws. “They had that guy-what was his name?-the year Jackson was ascended.”

Vala laughed out loud. “And as soon as they got darling Daniel back, they shoved him through the wormhole so fast, he busted his ass on the other side.” Carolyn flopped back and giggled, flinging wine all over Cameron. “Makepeace took over when O’Neill went undercover and they put him in prison.” She nodded sagely. “Let that be a lesson to you, Cameron Mitchell.”

“How do you know this stuff?” Cameron squinted at her fuzzily.

“I sneaked into the computer.”

“Hacked,” Carolyn corrected helpfully. “You hacked into the computer.”

“Thank you, darling. I hacked into the computer in Daniel’s office and read all about it.” 

They all fell silent, contemplating their bleak future. “I’m going to end up at Area 51, in a cell.” Vala predicted gloomily.

“I’ll be working the ER in some gang infested neighborhood.” Carolyn tipped up the empty bottle. “Damn, we’re out.”

“Here,” Cameron split what was left of his whiskey between the three of them. “And I guess I’ll end up in some no-name base with a one lane airstrip.”

They sat morosely, drinking.

*

“When, I ask you, Daniel, was the last time you saw such a sight?” Cameron squinted up at a voice that sounded suspiciously like Jack O’Neill.

“Oh, probably the last time we all got drunk together.” Daniel slid his arms around Vala’s waist. “Come on, up you go.”

Her long arms looped around him. “Where we going?”

Daniel blinked at the alcohol-laced breath. “You’re going inside and lie down where you’ll be comfy. And where there will be a nice garbage can close at hand. Just in case.”

“You’re so cute, Daniel Jackson.” Her lips missed his and landed on his jaw; her hand, however, unerringly found his ass.

Instead of getting mad, Daniel just chuckled. “In the state you’re in, I doubt if you could stay awake long enough to try anything.” He led her staggering away.

“Teal’c, if you’d help me with Carolyn, I think we can get her home.”

“I will be glad to assist, General Landry.” Teal’c lifted her easily and between the two of them, they walked her to the general’s car.

“Okay, Carter, I guess you and I get Mitchell.” Jack got one arm and Sam got the other. “Oof, he’s heavier than he looks.” They finally got him off the ground and looping his arms across their shoulders, started shuffling through the grass. “What are we going to do with him?”

“Why don’t you help him to my car, sir? I think I can get him to his apartment, unless he passes out and he’s not going to do that, are you, Cam?” Jack helped her dump him in her car and belt him in. “General…”

“I’m just gonna hang out here and defend Daniel’s honor.”

Sam chuckled as she slid the car into gear. “Good luck, sir, she can be quite a handful.”

“Sam,” Cam asked as she made a right at the end of Daniel’s street. “Can I sit at the cool kids’ table?”

Reaching over, she patted his knee. “Of course you can, Cam.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, that’s what friends do for each other, right?”

“Right,” he grinned at her just to see her smile back. “That’s what friends do.”


End file.
